Alpha males: "Sales Judo"
My good friend Lee Brooks is constantly calling attention to the "reach and withdrawal" aspect of selling, or what he calls "sales judo". It really is remarkable how much can be learned about selling by watching the direction of the communication. Are you pushing info across? Or pulling out an answer in a friendly and agreeable manner?
One way in which the direction of the sale can be observed is through body language. One of the most common questions we field at our Sales Summit (www.EliteServiceClass.com) is "How do I beat an Alpha Male?" Well, you don't. You recognize when you're up against one and you "bend like a reed in the wind", grasshopper.
Firstly, when two very seasoned salespeople get together (You'll have to pardon my self-inclusion in the group I just listed; for practical purposes, someone has to write this blog. Those of you who know me very well know that if you asked me to rate my own selling skills on a scale of 1-10 I would respond by saying perhaps 2 or 3, indicating only that I may be using a bigger yardstick than you...)and they shake hands, the "argument" that takes place physically is precisely opposite that of two very aggressive men. There is a firmness, yes; but there is a speed to the "submission", or the sliding under of your hand, so that the other ends up on top and palm down, that would amaze you. We actually try to "out-submit" one another.
Ever watch two Techs shake hands? It is like an armwrestling match.
Besides outward bossiness, the Alpha can also be a bit of a know-it-all, and sometimes a flat-out pain in the nether region. If you hear one of these words, it could be an Alpha:
Champ
Sport
Skippy
Pal
Junior
My friend
Chief
Bubba
Yikes. Its amazing that these people not only feel so inadequate themselves, but are actually willing to treat the one person in the world at the moment who is there to help them in this manner. But they do.
OK general recommendations for one of these bozos (No, don't call him Bozo...)
1. Submit. Use the underhand handshake.
2. Listen carefully. See if you can get him to open up about his interests by asking good questions.
3. Don't ever be taller than him in an enclosed space, like a basement or a bathroom. Find a way to sit so that you're always looking up, never down. (Did I need to add that the tub is preferred to the toilet?)
4. Don't allow physical barriers to empower objections. By seating or positioning yourself next to him while looking at documents or proposals, rather than across a table or countertop from him, you will find his agreement much closer and his objections more a matter of curiosity.
5. Show concern for his time and convenience. After all, he's "wasting his time" with you.
6. If you have to ask a question which he may find confrontational, soften it using the words "I'm curious," and you'll find whatever follows to be a matter of polite information exchange rather than a challenge to his opinion.
The especially funny punch line to the Alpha is that after all of this bossiness and "Large and in charge" persona, this dolt will still say "Well I need to talk to my wife."
And no, we can't simply LOL. But don't you wish you could? It should be added that a man who thinks he's the head of his household is like a jaywalker who insists he has the right-of-way: It's probably true on some level, but just go ahead and walk on out there...)
-MS
One way in which the direction of the sale can be observed is through body language. One of the most common questions we field at our Sales Summit (www.EliteServiceClass.com) is "How do I beat an Alpha Male?" Well, you don't. You recognize when you're up against one and you "bend like a reed in the wind", grasshopper.
Firstly, when two very seasoned salespeople get together (You'll have to pardon my self-inclusion in the group I just listed; for practical purposes, someone has to write this blog. Those of you who know me very well know that if you asked me to rate my own selling skills on a scale of 1-10 I would respond by saying perhaps 2 or 3, indicating only that I may be using a bigger yardstick than you...)and they shake hands, the "argument" that takes place physically is precisely opposite that of two very aggressive men. There is a firmness, yes; but there is a speed to the "submission", or the sliding under of your hand, so that the other ends up on top and palm down, that would amaze you. We actually try to "out-submit" one another.
Ever watch two Techs shake hands? It is like an armwrestling match.
Besides outward bossiness, the Alpha can also be a bit of a know-it-all, and sometimes a flat-out pain in the nether region. If you hear one of these words, it could be an Alpha:
Champ
Sport
Skippy
Pal
Junior
My friend
Chief
Bubba
Yikes. Its amazing that these people not only feel so inadequate themselves, but are actually willing to treat the one person in the world at the moment who is there to help them in this manner. But they do.
OK general recommendations for one of these bozos (No, don't call him Bozo...)
1. Submit. Use the underhand handshake.
2. Listen carefully. See if you can get him to open up about his interests by asking good questions.
3. Don't ever be taller than him in an enclosed space, like a basement or a bathroom. Find a way to sit so that you're always looking up, never down. (Did I need to add that the tub is preferred to the toilet?)
4. Don't allow physical barriers to empower objections. By seating or positioning yourself next to him while looking at documents or proposals, rather than across a table or countertop from him, you will find his agreement much closer and his objections more a matter of curiosity.
5. Show concern for his time and convenience. After all, he's "wasting his time" with you.
6. If you have to ask a question which he may find confrontational, soften it using the words "I'm curious," and you'll find whatever follows to be a matter of polite information exchange rather than a challenge to his opinion.
The especially funny punch line to the Alpha is that after all of this bossiness and "Large and in charge" persona, this dolt will still say "Well I need to talk to my wife."
And no, we can't simply LOL. But don't you wish you could? It should be added that a man who thinks he's the head of his household is like a jaywalker who insists he has the right-of-way: It's probably true on some level, but just go ahead and walk on out there...)
-MS
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